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It may sound like an unpleasant niche website for a handful of amoral people to whom wedding vows never meant very much.

But it claims to have more than 100,000 members in the UK.

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She wants instant gratification even though we've exchanged only a few words online.

In order to fit in with the general ethos of the website I have invented a wife.

Our relationship, I note, has suffered because we don't spend enough time together (not surprising really, since she doesn't exist).

In the end, we agree to part and she wishes me luck and assures me I'll find the perfect paramour. This was like having a meeting with a new accountant with a helping of self-disgust thrown in.

Later on I'm perplexed when she sends me two flirty text messages.

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