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I guarantee you’ll see the immediate payoff in the quality of men you attract. Here are some statements I see every day in women’s profiles: “I’ve waited so long for the right relationship and I hope it’s finally my time.” “I’m ready to be his everything.” “I’m looking for a relationship where we are totally devoted to each other.” While some of this may be true for you, it’s not something to put in a profile.The man reads this as you having incredibly high expectations and reliance on your relationship for your happiness. If you wouldn’t say it on your first date, don’t write it in your profile. Women in their 40s, 50s and beyond are particularly guilty of this.Does your profile sound like someone who likes to have a good time? “I’ve tried online dating before and it didn’t work, but I’m trying it again.” Or “I’ve had a lot of challenges and hardships over the last 20 years and now I’m ready for a change.” Or “I’ve devoted my life to my children and caring for my elderly parents…now it’s my turn.” Again, this all may be true, but it’s important to let your prospective match know that spending time with you will be enjoyable…otherwise why would they want to contact you?When was the last time you read a man’s profile and thought “Wow, he sounds like he really needs me to cheer him up…I definitely want to meet him!It’s too generic, common and, frankly says nothing about you that’s interesting.Instead, be more specific and paint a picture for him.After all, you’ve probably accomplished a lot in your life without a man and are prepared to continue doing so.Be careful not to sound like there is no room in your life for a relationship.
I’ve seen how rewriting a profile, making it more positive, more aspirational, and less demanding can help the right guys find their way to your inbox. My husband and I met and married when I was 47 and I’m now spending the happiest years of my life. Bobbi invites you to join her Grownup Girls’ Night Out!Once you’ve hit your 40s and beyond, you kind of know what works for you and what doesn’t. If you do a good job describing yourself and painting a picture of what it feels like to be in a relationship with you, it will attract the right men and repel the wrong ones.Many women use their profile as a list of their likes and dislikes. So focus more on what you have to offer, and less on what they can do for you.” Spend your initial time letting him know how you relax and enjoy yourself and how being with you will add positively to both of your lives.You can roll out the “heavy” information as you get to know each other.